Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize