More tranny stories later!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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