She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
