pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
