Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize