You took a bar mat shot.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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