I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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