So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY