considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
