Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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