the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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