There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I looked at my own cervix.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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