How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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