In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
