oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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