he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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