dude i'm inner monologue high
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.