idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life