I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
