running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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