I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
