That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize