even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize