East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Houston, we have a squirter
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
