I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
