Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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