I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Drake has all the answers
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
