I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
my poor anus
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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