Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
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Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
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I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .