Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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