i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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