My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
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The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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