One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I checked into jail on foursquare
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
