Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
