On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
