I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.