Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize