i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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