then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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