I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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