I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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