STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.