After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
