he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
