I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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