as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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