your thong is hanging out like whoa
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
