2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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