i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize