i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
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That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers