the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Banned from zoo.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sext me about skeletons