you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
