I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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