I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize